


Vodka and Cashew Butter

by Lavandula_Caeruleus



Category: Marvel
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:54:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27051499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavandula_Caeruleus/pseuds/Lavandula_Caeruleus
Summary: Bruce and Natasha have a late-night talk about kids- and why they'll never have them.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov & Bruce Banner
Kudos: 3





	Vodka and Cashew Butter

Natasha sighed and slumped in her chair a little, tracing the grain of the wood on the table listlessly. She heard soft footsteps walking through the kitchen.  
"Bruce."  
He looked over and met her eyes. "Natasha. Little early to be up, don't you think?"  
She almost laughed. "Nah... I never went to bed."  
He rummaged around in the cupboards a bit, while she watched on.  
"You wanna grab my vodka, Doc?"  
He sighed, but when he came out of the kitchen was holding a bottle in his hand. He gave it to her, and she took the lid off a drank a swig quickly. she gestured towards the container in his hand. "Whatcha got there?"  
He blushed a little. "Cashew butter. It's pretty good." He scooped out a large spoonful and stuck it in his mouth.  
"Huh." She downed another gulp. "You should try this stuff sometime, y'know."  
He shook his head. "No, no, the other guy doesn't need any more excuses than he already has to come out."  
"Ah." She stared at the table and rolled the bottle between her fingers. “What’s got you up this time of night?”  
He shrugged. “Woke up. Couldn’t sleep. Figured I’d get a snack.”  
She nodded.  
He pointed a spoon at her. “What about you?”  
She took another swing of her drink. “Couldn’t sleep.”  
He nodded. “I know the feeling.”  
She sighed and chugged half the bottle. “You sure you don’t want some?”  
He laughed nervously and shook his head. “I’m good. No one needs to deal with me drunk.”  
She smiled at him tipsily and took another long sip.  
He watched her cautiously before speaking. “So, what’s got you not sleeping?”  
She waved the nearly empty bottle around. “Not much. Just the usual.” She sighed at the tabletop, then suddenly frowned and slammed her fist against it.  
Bruce jumped.  
She cursed in Russian. “The Red Room…They took so much from me.” She sighed. “It wasn’t until I met Clint and he started his own family that I realized that I wanted to have kids…”   
Bruce blinked. “Well…I’m sure that there’s someone who would…who would love to do that with you…”  
She scowled. “It’s not that, Bruce. They took any choice I had away. I want it so badly, Bruce, but I can’t have it!” She bit her lip and closed her eyes. “I’m just…having a bad day…”  
“I know it’s not the same…but sometimes I wish I could have kids without the…Other Guy…but then I remember how Jen changed after just a blood transfusion…and how I wouldn’t even know how to parent children properly anyway…” His voice trailed off. “Sorry, sorry, I don’t even know why I’m saying that. I’ll just shut up now.” He stabbed the spoon into the jar of nut butter and stuck it in his mouth, avoiding her gaze.  
She laughed. “No, that’s completely valid. I could at least… teach them not be killers. You, on the other hand, you’d have to trust chance- “  
“-Which I don’t, for a very valid reason.”  
“-and you’d be a perfectly fine parent, besides.”  
“Wait wait wait, what could possibly make you think that I would be a good parent?”  
She laughed. “The way you manage Hulk…and for that matter, the way that you handle Tony. Even when you two first met, he never really got to you the way that he did to the rest of us. And you’re supposed to be the one with anger management issues.”  
His face colored. “Th-that’s very sweet and all…”  
Natasha leaned forward grimly. “If anyone ever doubts your parenting abilities, they’ll lose their most valuable body parts.”  
“I really don’t think it’s worth it…”  
“Of course, it is. You are, logically, going to be a great parent.”  
He gave her a wary look. “…and what does that mean...?”  
She laughed so hard she nearly fell off her chair. “I meant to say ‘if you become a parent…’”  
He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. “I’m not entirely convinced.”  
“Tch. You’re fine. Though- “She drank the last bit out of the bottle. “If I was going to have kids with someone, it’d be you.”  
His face went red, and he started stuttering.  
“Better you than Steve. You two are the only available bachelors, and Steve’s not really my type.”  
“Thank you...?” He squeaked. “To be fair…I feel the same.” He flapped his hands about, almost splattering cashew butter on the floor. “I-I-I mean that…if I had to- “  
She interrupted. “I know what you mean, Bruce, don’t worry.”  
He scooped up some more cashew butter out of the jar and ate it, trying to pretend that he wasn’t still embarrassed.  
That was when Steve walked in on their “totally not a date at all” to tease them before his morning run.


End file.
